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Author: Coach Terri Have you ever looked at your partner and wondered, “What happened to us”? When you were first together, you could hardly keep your hands off of each other. Now, you don’t even get to sleep without one of the kids in your bed. It is the story that most of us are living. Why it use to be so Good When you were first in love, your body was flooded with chemicals known as “The Love Cocktail”. These chemicals cause you to feel a “high” every time you are thinking about your lover. You get butterflies in your stomach and sweaty palms. You want to be together at all times. This also gives you a very high sex drive. All you want is to be close to this person; feeling their body, their breath, and their heart. It is very easy to be turned on. Both of you are very romantic, very passionate.  What Happened
After about the two year mark, these chemicals wear off. Everyone goes back to “normal”. You might be asking “what is normal”? The answer is that everyone has their own set point and when the chemicals wear off, you go back to it. A low desire person only wants occasional sex again. The once talkative person goes back to being quiet. Trips to the grocery store aren’t romantic anymore. How to Keep the Passion Alive The first step to keeping the passion alive is to make it a priority in your life. If a HOT sex life is important to you, do what it takes to maintain it. It is the job of both partners to keep the fires burning. There are a lot of books, videos, classes, and workshops available to help you with this. The second step is to become an expert in your lover’s arousal. What turns him/her on? Most of you think that after all of these years, you definitely know what your lover likes. The problem with this train of thought is that desire changes over time. What use to work might not anymore. As we grow and change, so does our desire. You need to start by having a conversation with your lover about what turns him/her on. Then you can begin to put it into action. Coach Terri This article reflects the opinions of the author, and not necessarily those of Coach-Connect or its members. |