I love this process -it really keeps me moving forward when I make decisions or create emotional blocks that hinder my goals, desires or may interfere with saying focused on my blessings!

So I am compelled to run through one here too. Insight & guidance is welcome & appreciated!

Worksheet: My boyfriend doesn't want to be with me

My story: Our schedules tend to vary, though I am able to be at the house to prepare lunch for us. I value the brief time we have together in the middle of the day, so I can show I care with the food I prepare & have his quality time & undivided attention (or just hear how his morning is going).
He called, in great timing, to let me know he has to run errands & can't be home for lunch. I am suddenly crushed and feel rejected, hurt and momentarily think he doens't want to be with me anymore. So now I feel stupid for think & feeling that way, as his "love language" expressions are always there and he has always been exactly where he says or doing precisely what he states. Duh!

1. Is it true that he is rejecting me?

Felt true in that moment, because I really wanted his attention today & was really looking forward to it! He should feel that -after all he "knows" me!

2. Is it absolutely true that he's rejecting me?

Noooo... I just wanted time with him really bad today. He took time to let me know how busy he is and I do appreciate that.

1A. Is it true that I am stupid for having thoughts or feelings and wanting what I want?

Well, not really -just feel like I am suppose to know better.

2A. Is it absolutely true that I am stupid?

Well, no! I just want what I want, and it doesn't always work out that way. But I'm not gonna "die" from it!

3. How did I react when I thought he was rejecting me & I am stupid?

- moment of panic
- stomach tight & tense
- got a little sweaty (yuk!)
- judged myself with "I should/shouldn't"
- judged him with "he should"

4. Who would I be without the thought "he's rejecting me & I'm stupid?"

I feel okay. No stress, panic or worry or "feeling judged."
I feel calm, peaceful and still joyful that we have such a respectful and loving relationship!

5. Turning the thought around, I see:

- I am rejecting me & rejecting him for his choices of the moment.
- I am NOT stupid, though the thoughts that created my negative emotions can be considered stupid & I don't have to give them the attention.

6. I am willing and I look forward to:

Not judging him or myself and just enjoying our relationship and the rest of my day!

Thanks for listening!!

Jodi

Post edited by: Dr. Jodi, at: 2007/09/21 19:05