Hello Confused, I think it is awesome you are reaching out asking for thoughts. Your husaband having an affiar means what about you?

Look at answering this question several times and see what you notice. Could it be the affiar has triggered a belief about yourself such as I am unlovable? It could trigger allot of beliefs about yourself. These beliefs usually rooted in childhood and you could ask the question, I am unlovable just like when? Go back to the earliest memory you can recall where you felt unlovable. This would be an great place to start to do some correction about your belief about self. Once correction happens, forgiveness happens.

The issue is not about the affair per say, it is about what you have made the affair mean about you. Hope that helps. Fondly Jan