Dear Confused,

I read your post and found it ironic because I just finished up a call with someone who had cheated on his wife. I was faced with the sobering reality of what the affair does to the marriage.

After a betrayal, there are so many emotions going through your mind, body, and heart. There is sadness, hurt, disappointment, and disillusionment. I think that one of the biggest challenges is being disillusioned. We all marry with the hope of an everlasting love. We stand before our family and friends believing that there is happily ever after.

The reality is that people make mistakes. You said yourself that your husband is sorry and has been trying to make it up to you. Your job is to find the lesson to be learned from the affair.

You are given the opportunity to re-evaluate your marriage. You need to take a look at your marriage objectively. I know that this is difficult to do. It is your job to decide if you can stay in your marriage. This decision will take courage.

If you truly love your husband, there is hope. Many marriages have survived infidelity and have become stronger. If you want to be one of these couples, you will need to forgive and let your wall down. Only you know how to do this. Your husband can do everything right, but until you let him in, it will be for nothing.

If you would like support in your journey, give me a call. I would love to help.

Coach Terri